Mothers and motherhood. Something we’re all familiar with. You may be one, you definitely know of one. It’d be safe to say that we’ve all been shaped into who we are by our experiences and observations of motherhood. It is magical, hard-hitting and a whole lot of experience that we can’t even begin to describe. But we thought it would be a wonderful opportunity to explore the experiences of three women, from the same family, at three different stages of life and motherhood.
Now that the campaign driven celebration is over, let's look at the wins, fears and elation that is motherhood – outside the boundary of a singled-out Sunday.
Here goes, some honest beautiful responses by some beautiful humans, mothers that we are proud to know and have in our lives: our very own Write Sister Vrinda Ranga, mother of an adorable 1 yr old, her mother Venu Ranga, mother of three, role model to many, and her sister Ritu Purohit, an artist extraordinaire and mother-to-be.
Did you always want to be a mother, or was it something that grew within you over time?
Ritu: Yes, I always wanted to be a mother and after my marriage this feeling grew even more.
Venu: Yes, I always wanted to be a mother.
Vrinda: Being a mother was a part of my life plan. The oldest of three siblings, I always had a very strong maternal instinct.
What is your one quality that you’d like your child to have?
Ritu: I’m not sure about this, I'm kind of excited to discover the qualities that he/she would be blessed with.
Venu: Positivity with Calmness
Vrinda: The ability to find joys in the smaller things in life.
What is/was your biggest fear about having children?
Ritu: As of now, definitely the process of delivery!
Venu: Their Education
Vrinda: I was afraid whether I'd be able to give my child a healthy environment to thrive in both mentally and financially.
How did you choose the name/s?
Ritu: We are yet to decide a name. However, I'd like my baby's name to be related to my husband's. Like how my name is related to my father's!
Venu: For my first child, the idea was to keep a name that was related to Lord Krishna. (because Venu and Navneet are both dear to Lord Krishna.)
Hence, Vrinda, as that is dear to Lord Krishna as well.
Medha - was according to her Nakshatra.
Aditya - Was suggested by our Guru ji.
Vrinda: My daughter's name was chosen as per her 'naamakshar' plus the name we finalised had the initials of both her parents along with her own. So, it was a win-win!
Were you ever scared to be a parent?
Ritu: No, not really.
Venu: Never
Vrinda: I was petrified at first but when I concieved, it started to feel like I was made for this. In fact, a couple of months after delivering my daughter, the role of a mother started to feel so natural, as if I was cut out especially for it.
Were you ready for motherhood?
Ritu: A big yes. We planned on having kids and had that conversation early in our relationship. So yeah, quite ready by now.
Venu: The first time I concieved, I physically wasn't ready. Which is why I suppose we lost the baby. But God has been kind to bless me with three children after that loss. I trust the timing.
Vrinda: I feel everyone is ready for the 'idea' of motherhood. So was I. It's when you become a mother, you learn and unlearn every day. Everything is learnt on the job; every day is a new challenge.
Did you get a lot of advice from your female family members or friends?
Ritu: Advice keeps coming and I’m completely okay with it because with every advice comes some past experience of that person. So that's value addition.
Venu: Yesssssss!
Vrinda: Tonnes!!! So much so that I couldn't even register most of it. There're only a few people who give you genuine advice or are empathetic to a new mother. Most of the time I received advice that was absolutely unsolicited, irrelevant, hinting at comparison and competition. It mostly made me uncomfortable. But yes, a small, close circle of sisters, friends and of course my own mother, were and still are my support system.
How important are the women, and other mothers in your life?
Ritu: Most important as I look up to them for almost everything that they did or are still doing for their child’s betterment.
Venu: Very, very important as I have learned many important lessons from my grandmother, mother, mother-in-law, aunts, sisters, daughters, and friends ❤️
Vrinda: Quite. Especially the ones who became mothers a little before I did. Their support is genuine, their concerns valid and their approach friendly.
Also, my mother has been my ROCK throughout the journey so far. I couldn't have done any of this without her.
How do you define success as a parent?
Ritu: I’m yet to get to the full-fledged parent stage so I'm unsure however, since the early stages of motherhood are so demanding and tiring, if I'm able to calmly deal with that, function on little to no sleep and manage to do everything for the baby that’ll be a big success!
I’m a sleepy head and can’t function without 7 hours of sleep, so this is going to be tough!
Venu: When my children carry forward the legacy of values that I have given them and stay rooted to the culture, live a disciplined life, and believe in a never-give-up attitude, I feel I have succeeded as a parent.
Vrinda: At the stage that I'm at, a year-old mom, my child achieving her development milestones and feeling happy is quite the success.
We hope you enjoyed these musings on motherhood. As we have said before, we’re all made up of stories, and by sharing these stories we hope everyone who reads feels the warmth of solidarity, in some way. With these interactions, we got the chance to be a part of the unique journeys of these women and we are so glad that they agreed to let us tag along, even if for a little while. The responses have been pared and modified a little for the post, but we have tried to keep the intentions intact. We are very fond of the conversation style of reading-writing and would like to do this more often. Comment and let us know what you think :)
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